what they see

my friends all seem to think

i’m doing something right, something that’s a coherent direction

done by design, and i

am just flailing and sometimes getting lucky


Balance Scales

when it takes thirty years to articulate

what I want

because what I want

has never been important to anyone. Not even Not especially Not me

Because I had the idea that taking care of others meant others would take care of me

People don’t give back because you give People give back when you demand, when

you expect no less, when

you don’t give a damn about how they feel, when

you don’t even care enough to try

hope stillborn

I will not get the job. I am not

what they are looking for.

This is not to say I will not try: When I fall

I will fall forward

my fingers crooked to claws

trying to scrabble my away across the finish line

that always seems to be three inches

beyond my reach.